Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
