His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
