Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
