i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
