Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize