woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
