just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Do vagina's smell?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
soo... how was my night?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize