physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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