Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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