Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
