You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
