69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
