No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
