Umm I'm too high to move.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize