she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
