i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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