i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
