Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
