I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
