Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
