Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Found your dick twin last night
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Your penis caused this!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
