i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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