Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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