Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Soap is not a condiment
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
