A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
