how can u be prego again
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize