I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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