Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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