Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
