My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
