Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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