i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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