after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
