i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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