I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize