I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
