it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
