i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
