I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
