i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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