whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
