Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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