he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
