Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i wish my penis had a tongue
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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