Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
