There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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