We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
