okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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