would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
