Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
