Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
