By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
