I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
