She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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