Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
