Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize