This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Small penises have feelings too.
my shit smells like andre
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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