he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
