He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
