I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
