Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's a Shit stain on my heart
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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