Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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