Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
