We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
