She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
